Do you ever have great ideas? Are you ever sure you are going to just WOW them?
Do you ever lay awake thinking: “this one is THE one; now my life feels right?” Well, this recipe started out something like that. But then it went someplace else entirely. As you’ll soon see.
I’ll let you in on a secret though. Everyone has thoughts like these. They have them in consideration of their jobs. They have them in consideration of sports (GO SAINTS). They especially have them in consideration of love.
Sometimes I even have these thoughts in consideration of SippitySup!
But really… SippitySup is a website. A blog. SippitySup is something I do that is outside my real life. Something that I do to express myself. Because in my real life I do not always get to express myself.
I am a person who thinks about things. I am a person who tries to understand the complexities of life. One of these complexities is that as people we may never get to understand ourselves.
So that means the things we do to express ourselves may never be fully understood. Do you understand what I am trying to say?
Because when we try to express ourselves in the highly public manner known as the blogosphere. We are often trapped by the conscripts of this medium. I put forth a snarky, self-obsessed persona that chooses to present himself in a manner designed to make you roll your eyes. But does that mean you know me?
I don’t think it means you know me the way you think you might. Because of that guy, Sup!, is not really me. I bring him out to see what you might think about someone like me. So I guess he is a valuable tool I use to try and get closer to myself.
But HA on me! Because in the year I have been pecking away at this keyboard I have learned something. And just like the most valuable lessons in life, what I learned came on me like a ton of bricks.
I just want to be liked. I don’t mean I need to be liked. I don’t even mean that having you like me will change one little thing about me or my life. But, gosh, sometimes I think – wouldn’t it would be nice were it so?
Why else would I spend hours putting together a recipe and then photographing it? This is often after working a full day. Why would I plan my dinner hour around the best possible light in my kitchen? Because despite what you may read at CampBlogAway, I eat the food I shoot within moments of shooting it! So that takes some planning.
Sometimes, my hard planned plans go awry. Sometimes the PhotoBullies reject my hard work. You know how that feels – I know you do. I feel like I put so much of myself in this blog that the TasteHaters can’t possibly understand. Their main concerns are white balance and how much money you spent on your camera. I don’t think they see the you, you put in your pictures.
Still, when I put that aside I realize it’s in those moments that I KNOW I did a good job. I know that I have connected with someone out there. These are the moments that I realize, maybe I’ve been wrong. Maybe I don’t do this so that you will like me, or understand me. Maybe I do this because I want you to like you. I want you to understand you! Maybe in helping you do that, I can help me, be me. Maybe.
I guess by now you may have figured out that I am not necessarily talking about photos or even blogs. Certainly not food. But these are the easy metaphors for me – ones with which I am perfectly comfortable.
Because food is tied into who we are. Which is why it is an easy metaphor for so many things. But easy or no – it certainly does mean something. Because it can help us understand ourselves and our place in this world. “Am I vegan”?; “Am I a food snob?”; “Am I a health-nut or an over-indulger?”; “Do I eat to live or live to eat?”
Do I need the PhotoBullies to help me understand this metaphor? If they reject this photo are they rejecting me? Or am I accepting myself for putting it out there, ready to be rejected? This may seem like a lot of baggage to lay upon a little ole food blog. But really how we choose to present ourselves to this world says a lot about who we really are.
So I present to you, a dinner from my life. One that I completely enjoyed. Unashamedly. For whatever that means…
Panko Crusted Mustard Chicken serves 4 CLICK here for a printable recipe.
SERIOUS FUN FOOD