Despite (or maybe rather because of) COVID I’m in Santa Barbara, CA. I’ll be here an entire month.
I used to live here in the 1980s and still have friends here so it’s not exactly a vacation. I love to travel but frankly my favorite sort of travel isn’t what most people would call “vacationing”.
A vacation implies a break from something. But, again despite COVID, I’m happy with the way I live my life and I don’t really need a break from it. That’s the difference between vacationing and traveling. When you travel you bring your life (and your life’s experience) with you.
A month in Santa Barbara suits me fine just. I’ve been the primary caregiver to my 89 yo mother-in-law these past 6 years. It was a life changing experience. That’s ended now. She passed away quietly on July 31, 2021. I was the only other person home at the time. It was unexpected (as much as it could be). I held her hand and it was all over in just a couple of minutes. It was probably a stroke or some sort of seizure. Which makes it sound like it wasn’t as peaceful as it actually was. That’s the kind of experience I’m talking about. The kind that doesn’t leave you no matter how long or how far you travel from home. You always take it with you.
While in Santa Barbara I’m staying with a longtime friend. Ken and I have our own little cottage on the property. We’ve brought the dog and we’ve made no real plans. Plans are for vacation. This isn’t a vacation. It’s more of a trial run. Could I live in Santa Barbara again?
I’m not sure. But in the meantime this is a good setup. I like staying in “homes” as opposed to hotels. It’s fun to just hang out and feel like you belong. I like poking into cupboards and rearranging things to suit me. Small changes can make new places feel like home in ways big changes never could. No longer being a caregiver is a big change.
As I said I don’t know what I’m going to do over this next month. But that’s my idea of bliss – a vacation at home. Even if it’s not my home.
No one’s life is it a blank slate, nor is it set in stone. New experiences help us continue along our chosen path. When I travel I like to visit the places that the people who live there go on a daily basis. You get to know a lot about the way people live. You get to know their culture too. Naturally I’m apt to compare my culture to the one I’m seeing reflected in a vegetable market, a taco stand, or even a popsicle truck. It’s not hard to do, because like I said, I always bring my life with me.
But what does that mean? My life for the next month will certainly look different than it does when I’m in Los Angeles. For starters this blog is going to look different. Perhaps you see that already. There’s no recipe attached to this post. I may not post recipes all month.
Not that I won’t be eating. To folks like me the sharing of food is the basis of social life.
That’s because no one who cooks cooks alone. Even when we’re cooking for one. If I find myself in the kitchen while I’m here in Santa Barbara I’ll be surrounded by my history with food and this blog. I might not be writing recipes but I’ll benefit from all that these past 13+ years of blogging has brought to me.
I’ll still be following my favorite cooks. People who like to cook like to talk about cooking too. But you knew that. After all, without one person giving another person a tip or two in the kitchen food as we know it would be entirely different.
Which brings me back to my thesis. When I travel I bring a part of my life with me. I may not be cooking but I’m always living the life of a cook. That life includes this blog and it includes you. GREG
I’m so sorry for your loss. Beautifully written post ❤️ All the best, Mirna
Greg, Sorry to hear about your Mother-in-law’s passing. I just just found your beautiful blog and purchased your book on Amazon. I was happy to see your face regarding such a savory topic! All the best. Dan Allen.
Great to hear from you. GREG
I’m sorry to hear of your mom’s passing, but I’m also deeply respectful of your having cared for her. Outliving your parents, when it eventually happens, is a transformative experience and it sounds like for you, it’s going to be full of life.
Greg, your post hits so close to home. It is forevermore a part of who you are. Wishing you a quiet reawakening as you enter your next phase. Cooking for pleasure is so different than cooking for SEO. I look forward to watching where you go next.
My condolences about your mother-in-law and it’s nice to hear that it was a peaceful passing. Hope you have the best month in SB and that you share your time with us, recipe or no recipe. Your blog is a part of my life I quite enjoy! 🙂
Our sincere condolences to both you and Ken. your month-long stay in Santa Barbara will be a lovely way to spend time reflecting and remembering. I look forward to enjoying your new blog, I always enjoy your writing. Best of luck❤️❤️❤️
So sorry for your loss Greg. But I am happy that you are finally getting some rest that you likely need. These photos and these words…oh my, I can’t wait to see what recharging your batteries will have you doing next. As far as travelling? I’m like you. Just visiting a new neighborhood makes me feel renewed. All the best.
What a beautiful post, you provided a home and end of life care for your mother in law. What a great gift you gave her. You deserve to relax and reflect for a while. I love your distinction between traveling and vacationing.
How lucky your mother-in-law was to have your loving care for the past 6 years. Im sorry to hear of her passing, but glad to know it was peaceful and that you were there with her.
Do enjoy your time in Santa Barbara… the cottage looks very sweet, and I’m sure the meals from the kitchen will be perfect. My best to you both.
Hi Greg, so sorry for you loss.. my best to you and Ken.. Art
Beautifully written. Enjoy Santa Barbara.
I’m sorry to hear about your MIL, Greg, but happy you are free to do things like this now. Your little cottage is lovely.
Looks charming. Enjoy every minute.
I’m with Mimi — lovely post. Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law, but what a nice ending for her, with you there. I really like your distinction between vacations and traveling — I do like to travel, but vacations as such don’t much interest me. I like my life, too, and am happy in my daily doings. Still, new (or old and familiar!) scenery is always a nice variation.
What a lovely post. I used to live up the road from the mission. It was a mother-in-law cottage on a beautiful property. Haven’t been back since my first job in 1978, sadly. I’m sorry about your mil. I don’t know what to say that’s politically correct about your caregiver job, but you certainly deserve any kind of vacation.