Quick! Make White Bean Crostini. I have guests coming…
I know you have a can of white beans in there somewhere. Get it out and open it up. This is a White Bean Crostini emergency.
How many times have you heard that phrase? Around my house it’s a common occurrence. I make White Bean Crostini whenever I’m faced with a stressful social situation.
Which brings me to a story. Yes another story. A High School (Into College) Story.
When I was in high school. I was thin. Painfully thin. People called me skinny. People called me worse things too.
So please don’t call me skinny or I might cry. Those other words I’ve learned to embrace. “Skinny” however still hurts me.
Of course, I’ve gained some weight since my teenage years. I’m not exactly “skinny” these days, but I like to think I’m delightfully thin (for a man my age). Still (to me) the word skinny has far more power than any word I can think of.
White Bean Crostini? Are we still talking about White Bean Crostini?
Yes we are.
When you’re a skinny kid (trying to prove a point) you do things that might seem out of character. This skinny kid joined a fraternity when he was in college. I don’t know why. It was the surest place I can think of where I might be called “skinny”. Or worse.
I tired to fit in, but I just didn’t. In fact I quit college barely into my second year just to get away from being called “skinny” (and worse).
The years have gone by and I did alright for a skinny kid. Today I’m the kind of person who makes White Bean Crostini whenever somebody pops in unexpectedly, or I find myself pressed to impress with little time to prepare. It’s simply a mix of white beans, chopped olives, parsley, lemon, chile flakes, and a ridiculously simple dressing. There’s even room for improv: Got capers? Throw them in. Cherry tomatoes? Garlic? Feta? Perfect. You get the idea.
Recently I found myself making White Bean Crostini for one of my college fraternity brothers. He’d come to Los Angeles to look at colleges for his own young daughter. He said he felt compelled to look me up while he was here (I have a blog, I’m not hard to find).
I have to admit the skinny kid in me resisted the meeting. I forgot to return emails. I stalled. I lied. I didn’t want to see this man. But he persisted. He pushed. He pleaded. He demanded. He wanted to see me while he was in Los Angeles. The skinny kid in me capitulated and I finally agreed to meet him at my house. I figured, if he wanted to call me “skinny” (or worse) at least I’d have the luxury of throwing him out.
In college he was a big, tall, handsome jock. When he rang my doorbell nearly 30 years later, he was a big, tall, handsome jock.
Since I had stalled so long, I barely had any time to prepare. So the cook in me threw open the cupboard doors, hoping to find something delicious to offer him (and his daughter) to eat. My eyes settled upon a can of white cannelini beans.
So I made White Bean Crostini with Olives, Chile, and Lemon. I made a drink too. We talked. We laughed. I learned that he felt freakishly tall when he was young. In fact I noticed he still slouched a bit whenever he was standing next to someone “less tall” than he.
I learned we weren’t so different. He with his daughter. Me with my white beans… GREG
White Bean Crostini with Olives, Chile, and Lemon
Print This Recipe Yield 6Source Bon ApetitPublishedMake Ahead: Tapenade can be made 2 days ahead. Cover and chill; bring to room temperature before serving.
Ingredients
- 1 (15-ounce can) white beans (such as cannellini or Great Northern), rinsed, coarsely chopped
- ½ cup pitted mixed olives (coarsely chopped)
- 2 tablespoon coarsely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
- 2 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
- Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper (to taste)
- toasted baguette slices
Directions
Toss beans, olives, parsley, oil, lemon zest, red pepper flakes, and 1 tablespoon lemon juice in a medium bowl; season with salt, pepper, and more lemon juice, if desired. Serve tapenade with toasted baguette slices.
Aw, college Greg! Love the story, too. And you’re right–people have no business calling each other “skinny.” Or any of those worse things, obviously.
Several notes… 1. Mark was also called skinny and hated it. No longer an issue; he credits my cooking. Hah! 2. I was skinny once… at birth. It won’t happen again. 3. In college I joined a sorority. They were a professional fraternity so they had to admit men if they applied. I was the first. My father was mortified. 4. I love that you have white bean crostini emergencies. And I love the recipe/guidelines. Happy Monday!
We (well maybe not you) would kill to be called skinny now! You look pretty comfortable in that adorable Winter Social pic 🙂 Next time I have an emergency, I’ll whip up some white bean crostini and think of you!
First of all, ADORABLE picture of you! And second, I love a good “food emergency,” especially one involving white bean crostini. Looks so good!
This is such a great story, though if I am being honest, I am a little jealous of you skinny folks. I’m pretty sure that the last time I was called skinny I was about 4. My favorite “mean” nickname from my childhood days is “Marchetti Spaghetti.” Come to think of it, I should have probably used that as my blog name. I’d probably have a bigger audience! Cheers, D
I think we all have a high school story to tell. Thanks for reminding us we are all not so different after all. I love white beans and I will be trying this wonderful idea this weekend.
I used to be really skinny in high school and college too. I wonder what happened to those days! I probably need more white bean crostini in my life. Who doesn’t? Fun post — thanks.
First, the college photo of you just melted my heart into a puddle.
Second, I think you were meant to be skinny so you could grow up to be a foodie and eat as much as you wanted. It’s funny how things work out, don’t they?
Third, the other guy in the photo definitely looks like one of those guys that punched other dudes after a few too many beers. I hope he’s still not like that. Unless he wants to punch his daughter’s boyfriends, that’s ok.
Thank you for the giggle! I enjoyed reading your post. This is a great dish to have ready at the drop of a hat. White beans make an excellent dip but I love all your additions for a boost of extra flavour.
Love the idea of this quick treat, AND that your bravery was rewarded with a pleasant visit.
Boy, can I relate. When I graduated from high school, I was 6′1″ and 130 lbs. I still hate being called skinny! Good to have an app like this in your back pocket for quick prep!
I love that story. I love white beans. Also, I love the idea you left on my blog-lest you don’t see my reply. I also feel your skinny-person-getting-teased pain. People think telling a girl she’s skinny is always a good thing but as a person who gets boney sometimes…I know it doesn’t always feel good…
I think we all have our (silly) insecurities — it makes life interesting, right? If this is the gourmet treat you whip up with little prep time I can imagine the feast you prepare when you have plenty of planning time. Fantastic recipe, Greg!!